Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

How should I go about convincing my mother that my foreign online boyfriend isn't out to get my holes or scam me?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

Why aren't U.S. prisons more like Marine Corps boot camp, were every second of the day there are mandatory activities so that at night everyone is so tired they go to sleep until wakeup at 5:30 am? Would this make prisons safer for all?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

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I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

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I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I have complete contempt for fakery

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I understand how hurricane paths work

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

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Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

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I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

What are some common health concerns for senior citizens?

I see through liars

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

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It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

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I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

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I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I can read

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I have a reading level above third grade

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I can count

I actually pay taxes

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes