Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I see through liars

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

My landlord just sold the house I’m renting from her. She included all fixtures, that I bought and installed. Does she have this right?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Twins reinstate Byron Buxton from concussion injured list - Sports Illustrated

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I understand how hurricane paths work

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

How strict are your parents?

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I have complete contempt for traitorism

Have you made a female relative or friend squirt?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

New Jersey Man Arrested for Stealing Instruments From Heart - Rolling Stone

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I have a reading level above third grade

Atheists claim that Earth is 10 billion years old, yet there are no fossils that old. What do you have to say for yourselves for lying?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

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I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

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It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I can read

Jamie Dimon says he wouldn't count on China folding under Trump's tariffs: 'They're not scared, folks.' - Business Insider

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

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I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I have complete contempt for fakery

I can count

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t cotton to rapists

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I actually pay taxes

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t buy bullshit

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane